Every female best friend birthday post!

Like every year, I’ve forgotten your birthday this year too. But I’m going post the most embarrassing and ugly pictures of us on social media and the world is going to go ‘Aww’ on them, because they have no option. Also because they’re all mechanical engineers and single.

Also, notice the kisses and hearts in the birthday wish. They’re trying to tell that I love you. I don’t know if I really do. But social media, so we have look like #BFFGoals.

I copy pasted this line from some other female friend’s post but you mean the world to me. Remember the night out we had? I genuinely think nobody has had the kind of fun that we did, until last night when I saw Priya’s pictures that looked hotter than ours. Marjaaye kutti kameeni.

You know we are going to stay friends forever, and you know what I said before the comma is a lie. But iss post par tumhaare aur mere dono ke dost like karenge, so it doesn’t really matter.

Nobody is going to read such a long crappy post because people know they all look the same, but I had to write this. Because as I said, likes. Also because I want you to write such a post for me too on my birthday. So that people know I have friends. And a life.

Shayad voh poetry nahi

Agar tumhaara koi ek guitarist dost ban Gaya hai,
Jo tumhaari tez aur dheere bolne ne skill ko
poetic sound karvaane lag gaya hai,
Aur ise tum poetry kehne lag gaye ho,
Toh ho sakta hai tum galat ho.

Kyunki tez aur dheere toh mere PT sir bhi mujhe bhaga lete the.

Agar Delhi yaa Mumbai kaa koi sexy cafe background mein lekar,
Aur haath mein mike ke saath dp khichwaakar tumhe likes mil rahe hain,
Aur ise tum poetry kehne lag gaye ho,
Toh ho sakta hai tum galat ho.

Kyunki likes toh sirf pout aur top shot se bhi mil jaate hain.

Aur agar tum raat ko baat se,
Aur time ko mime se rhyme karne lag gaye ho,
Aur isse tum poetry kehne lag gaye ho
Toh ho sakta hai tum galat ho

Kyunki rhyme toh main bachpan mein “Roses and Red sky is blue, Oh dear Reema I love you” bolkar main bhi kar leta tha.

Agar agar tumne poetry ki naam par
Sirf ‘The road not taken’ pada hai
Aur tab bhi tum apni likhne ko poetry kehne lag Gaye ho,
Toh ho sakta hai tum galat ho,

Kyunki sirf ‘The road not taken’ padne waala poet poet nahi,
School kaa student hai.

Aur agar tum India aur Pakistan mein Aman aur Shaanti ke topic par poetry likhte ho,
Aur ise tum poetry kehne lag Gaye ho,
Toh ho sakta hai tum galat ho,

Kyunki tum galat nahi tum chaalu ho.
Kyunki tumhe pata hai dono taraf se likes milenge aur India aur Pakistan mein ghanta koi aman Shaanti nahi hone waali.

Aur agar tumhaari ghatiya rhyming par snapping kaa clapping aane lag gayi hai,
Aur isse tum poetry bolne lag gaye ho,
Toh ho sakta hai tum galat ho,

Kyunki bhookon ko khaana
Aur first time listeners ko kaisa bhi content pasand aa jaata hai

Par agar tumhaari videos viral hone lag gayi hai,
Agar tumhaari castism, racism sexism ki daaru par baatein hone waali discussions logon ko stage par bhaane lag gayi hain.
Aur agar tumhaari mike waali DP par tumhaare tinder ke matches bad gaye hain,
Toh is skill ko pakad lo jakkad lo gale lagaalo,
Kyunki haan, haan, haan yahi poetry hai!

Aur iss chutiyaape ko logon ko poetry samjhaane mein zindagi kaa kaafi lamba hissa nikal jaata hai

Note: This poem was just for laughs, hope this made you smile. I love all you lovely writers/poets 🙂

Sad story of every person wearing specs

Broken specs
That’s exactly how my broken specs and heart looks like

1. You wear a pair of specs.
2. In some days you get bored of it, so you buy a new pair.
3. You forget the old pair because you think it’s design is baba aadam ke zamaane kaa, and you’re too sexy for it now.
4. You click selfies, tons of selfies. You don’t want people to notice your pretty face for a change, but your brand new specs because bro it’s expensive and new.
5. 10 days later, your friend sits on your pair of specs. The asshole breaks your new pair, and your heart.
6. You’re blind now. Everybody shows you the middle finger and asks you “Bro yeh kitni ungliyaan hain”. You badly need the old pair now.
7. But you don’t find the old one because you gave no fucks to it after you bought the new one, and you realise that the saas bahu serials were correct. Puraane rishte zaruri hote hain.

Watching Kyunki saas bhi bahu thi on Youtube right now to learn good values again.